Okay... this story involves>>> , , and

Well, it was a dark and stormy night... no LOL... not really

it was like 6:00 or something and tearmoore and garraleesoontobe were at my house, and we were commencing to prove once and for all that we do not have lives by rickrolling everyone we could call... (tearmoore's friend, 3 of garraleesoontobe's friends, , waffle house, and three different pizza places.) LOL... and after that we went and picked up Avi17 and headed out into the world to see a good friend of ours perform in the play MASH. The play was amazing... epic lulz were had and win was experienced by all. So yeah... after that we were invited to the cast party... but 4 underage teens at a bar where nobody knows anyone can get awkward pretty fast.... so we left around... 10:30? 11:00 maybe? something like that... but yeah, this is where the fun begins....

Before anybody reads any further, you should know some things...

I was driving

I had never been in the area we were in and did NOT know my way around.

I get lost VERY easily... (ask Avi17, she'll tell you)

Driving at night freaks me out...

Being lost freaks me out...

When I am freaked out... I drive like a f***ing RETARD!!!!


*SIGH* Okay, so yeah... We left the bar and headed toward what we THOUGHT was home, only to find ourselves hopelessly lost in a maze of narrow one-way streets, we finally got out of the town of doom, and headed down a street we thought was the right one, and before we knew it, we were in the middle of nowhere. After 30 minutes of questionable turns and two or three U-turns, we found ourselves right back where we started, which I suppose is better than in another state, but I wasn't feeling so optomistic at the time. So after a long and confusing discussion we selected a road we all agreed was right. after driving about 10 more minutes, one of my passengers shouts, "oh I remember this place, this is where we ended up that time we made a wrong tunr on the way home and got lost"...comforting...... well, at least they recognized the godforsaken place... better than me...*sigh* so after turning in circles, and me nearly killing everyone at a stoplight (an event which most certainly left permanent skidmarks 20 feet long right in the middle of the intersection *shudder*) We found our lucky-to-be-alive selves right back where we started... AGAIN. Now we were seriously beginning to wonder how we kept ending up at the theater w/out meaning to... and we will probably never know... but by now everyone was scared shitless and I could barely hold my foot steady on the gas pedal... but nonetheless... we once again set out to find our home town.
this time we managed to get on a road that we were all positive was right... we were all recognizing things and thinking "oh god, thank godness it's over" when suddenly without warning, this road we all knew became a godforsaken country road in the middle of NOWHERE (WE DID NOT TURN ONCE IN ORDER TO END UP HERE, WE WENT STRAIGHT!!!) so we are all just looking arount, and looking at each other, and asking, "dude, do you have ANY idea where this is?" and everyone just shakes their heads in confusion, so we stop at this random and almost empty gas station that totally looked to empty and bare, and asked this random and somewhat strange elderly couple which way (my town... we'll call it the bubble) is, the old man looks at us knowingly and proceeds to give us detailed directions from the gas station, back to "the bubble", so, thinking we were finally saved, we leave, and after me turning right when everyone said left, running a red light, and otherwise making an ass of myself... we finally got on the right track, and after following the old dude's directions PERFECTLY we found our happy asses in none other than what?... THE PARKING LOT OF THE #!@*&%?!!@##&* THEATER!!!! So at his point we were POSITIVE we were in the twilight zone, I mean seriously, some old guy giving us shitty directions is one thing... some old guy giving us directions that lead us directly back to where we started WHEN HE DOESN'T KNOW WHERE WE STARTED, is another. So at this point I was dying of a panic attack and my three traveling companions were (I am positive) probably thinking murderous thoughts about their darling designated driver, and all four of us were on the verge of tears. So, we got back on the mysterious magical switching road, which we were still POSITIVE was the right way to go, and called my beloved mother,who patiently gave us directions at 12:30 at night ( sorry mom...) and we finally found ourselves at the porthole to hell/ stepford/ "the bubble"/ my home town, and much rejoicing was had and all were happy to be alive after my retarded panic driving. So I drop my friends off at their abodes, and head to my own humble dwelling, happy simply that I was not dead on the side of the road. (I should mention that it was now nearly an hour past curfew and we all could have been arrested for being out so late)
I pulled into my garage, took a deep breath, and walked into my house to find my wonderful and helpful mummy-dear standing in the kitchen with a very disconcerting smile plastered across her face...

ME: Ummmmm.... Hi...

MOM: *scary smirk*

ME: yeah, so uhh... thanks for the directions... *fidget*

MOM: *SCARY SMIRK WIDENS*

ME: what?

MOM: I know you're lying... what were you REALLY doing out so late that you had to lie and pretend to get lost so I wouldn't know you were doing it? *scary smirk*

ME: *dies*

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for the record, this entire story is true, I was not drunk or high, I am USUALLY a better driver than that, and to all involved, I apologize again for my horrendous panic-driving.


damn, that was f***ing INCOHERENT!!!! If you understood that, you win the prize.
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P.S.
from the mysterious switching road, to whaen we arrived at the theater 4 the third time... I seriously believe we were in the twilight zone, and I have a creepy feeling like if I ever tried to find that random deserted gas station with the old people, I WOULD REALIZE THAT IT DOESN'T EXIST, OR IT WOULD TURN OUT THAT THE PLACE BURNED DOWN 5 YEARS AGO OR SOMETHING SERIOUSLY F***ED UP LIKE THAT...